My goal with this blog is to be more personal than I’m used to. I still have to remind myself that part of the goal here is to share my personal life.

It’s been a few months back now, but my grandfather passed away. We found out on Christmas morning, though we later found out it had happened the night before. He was 90. My grandmother passed away in the spring of 2000, so he had been alone for almost 18 years. They had been married over 50 years when she passed, so he just never really seemed the same after she passed on. He was a little hard of hearing even when I was a little kid, but it progressed over the years, making it hard for him to interact well when many people r a lot of different noise was going on. Even talking to him one-on-one was difficult in the past few years, you had to lean in and yell, and he would often need yu to repeat yourself even then. He also had Parkinsons, and his memory had declined significantly in the last few years of his life. With all of the health issues combined, it became rather difficult to maintain much of a meaningful relationship with him. His hearing made it very difficult to communicate with him, and his memory problems made it difficult for him to share stories from his recent past very accurately.

His 89th birthday with my sister’s kids.

He had talked about being ready to pass on for several years. He had a long and successful life, with a big family, a career at GM during the best years of the factory boom here in the midwest, a beautiful farm, a LONG and comfortable retirement. He retired before my mom, his youngest, was even an adult.

As I’ve grieved his loss, I’ve found comfort in how I knew that he was ready to go. It’s really sad to hear someone who is still living say they are read to pass. Yet, I’m so thankful that he did have a chance feel ready, because having your life end when you are desperate for more time just sounds like the worst thing imaginable to me. I’ve found comfort in reflecting on how much of a legacy he has left, with his six children, and SO many grandchildren and grandchildren. It is incredible to remember that our world, our families, our societies, really are just created by love. It’s beautiful.

I’ve also found myself reflecting on my younger years, because I had more of a relationship with him as a child than I did in his later years, due to his health issues. My oldest cousin mentioned in her speech at the funeral how our grandparents’ home always made her feel safe, peaceful and special. This cousin was a young adult when I was born, so we didn’t grow up together, yet the wording of her feelings mirrored mine so well. It’s a powerful thing to create a family home that can provide those feelings to all of our kids and grandkids. That alone is a beautiful accomplishment. It’s always difficult to have to let go of someone you love, but I’m so thankful I had the grandparents that I had. I think they both had a life well lived. I think that is all any of us can really hope for. So, we’re quite lucky to have had it.